Our party has 4 main goals to which we strive to achieve in the 2016 election:
- A Free Pony for every American
- To fund Time Travel Research
- Mandatory Toothbrushing
- Zombie Preparedness
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Time Travel Research Funding
To the average American time travel research is a fantasy
with no legitimate use thus they see no reason to fund it. The Free
Pony Party, however, has seen the potential that this avenue of
science can achieve. Our party sees time travel as a way to right the
wrongs of the past in the form of Adolf Hitler. With the success of time
travel our head runner, Vermin Supreme, plans on going back in time
to kill baby Hitler with his bare hands to save millions of people the
devastation and pain he will cause
To the average American time travel research is a fantasy
with no legitimate use thus they see no reason to fund it. The Free
Pony Party, however, has seen the potential that this avenue of
science can achieve. Our party sees time travel as a way to right the
wrongs of the past in the form of Adolf Hitler. With the success of time
travel our head runner, Vermin Supreme, plans on going back in time
to kill baby Hitler with his bare hands to save millions of people the
devastation and pain he will cause
Mandatory Tooth brushing
Gingivitis has been eroding the gum line of this great nation long enough, it must be stopped. For too long this country has been suffering a great moral and oral decay – in spirit and incisors. A country’s future depends on its ability to bite back. We can no longer be a nation indentured. Our very salivation is at stake. We, the Pony Party, fully intend to bite back at the troubling issue of gingivitis that has been eroding the gum line of our great nation by enacting Mandatory Tooth Brushing Laws.
Gingivitis has been eroding the gum line of this great nation long enough, it must be stopped. For too long this country has been suffering a great moral and oral decay – in spirit and incisors. A country’s future depends on its ability to bite back. We can no longer be a nation indentured. Our very salivation is at stake. We, the Pony Party, fully intend to bite back at the troubling issue of gingivitis that has been eroding the gum line of our great nation by enacting Mandatory Tooth Brushing Laws.
Zombie Preparedness
Many have proven that the Zombie Apocalypse is coming and no party other than the Free Pony Party is addressing this truly fear inspiring issue. Our party fully intends to not only protect all people and ponies from this threat but to harness the awesome power of the zombies as well. We have been working on creating giant turbines to which we will lure zombies into by dangling brains in the center of the turbines. We will then, close the zombies into the turbines who will, in turn, power it whilst they are chasing after the brains.
Many have proven that the Zombie Apocalypse is coming and no party other than the Free Pony Party is addressing this truly fear inspiring issue. Our party fully intends to not only protect all people and ponies from this threat but to harness the awesome power of the zombies as well. We have been working on creating giant turbines to which we will lure zombies into by dangling brains in the center of the turbines. We will then, close the zombies into the turbines who will, in turn, power it whilst they are chasing after the brains.
